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Alan Douglas: Ten Brazilian excuses for losing to U.S.

(Wednesday, February 11, 1998) -- From the branch office in West Vancouver, British Columbia, the Top Ten Brazilian excuses for losing to the United States:

10. Keller in goal? We were expecting Meola.

9. Preki only has one name so we thought he was on our team.

8. We got all dehydrated from not drinking the water before remembering we weren’t playing in Mexico.

7. Were afraid that if we won we might get a congratulatory call from the White House and that Clinton would hit on us.

6. Six words: beer and hookers, hookers and beer.

5. Just too disappointed that we didn't get to meet Madonna.

4. The Americans were just too good for us. No no! Wait that's not what we meant ... we were abducted by aliens ... yeah, aliens, that's it.

3. We stayed up the entire night before watching Olympic coverage before realizing that Brazil hasn't even sent a team to Nagano.

2. Got totally overconfident after reading all the CONCALAUGH posts in Usenet.

And the number one Brazilian team excuse:

1. Romario to Edmundo: "My turn to score the hat trick? I thought it was YOUR turn?"

Alan Douglas is a Canadian writer from British Columbia who can be e-mailed at aland@lightspeed.bc.ca.

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