Op-Ed \ John Haydon

Exeter suffers a sad fate with its strange descent.

Uri Geller's star power couldn't save Exeter from paying the ultimate price. -- Exeter web site photo --

(Tuesday, May 13, 2003) -- Get your hankies out. This a sad story.

After 83 years Exeter City Football Club has left England's Football League and is now doomed to play in the tough Nationwide Conference. The story of Exeter's fate is a strange tale concerning Michael Jackson, Darth Vader, Uri Geller and me. It all started last May when the famous spoon-bender and psychic to the celebrity world, Uri Geller, decided to invest in a soccer club. No, not Manchester United, but tiny Exeter City.

Geller's 21-year-old son, Daniel, after watching a highlight show, set up a shrine to Exeter in his bedroom. Soon, son and father were driving to England's southwest coast to check out the team located in the famous cathedral town of 110,000 residents. Geller, 55, believes his son, now the club's vice chairman, lived in the town in a previous life; wether it was as a soccer player is still uncertain.

With little talent on the field, Geller sensed a sprinkle of star power in the directors' box might help the struggling team. Having just renewed his marriage vows, the soccer-mad Geller, invited his best man, pop star Michael Jackson, to visit his new acquisition. So the royal train was corralled and the King of Pop was escorted down from London for his first ever taste of the "World's Game." As the train pulled away, Jackson was asked if he liked "football".

"Oh you mean soccer!" he said. "I know nothing about it."

Jackson not only ran out on to the Exeter turf before a rare capacity crowd of 10,000, but was also made an honorary director of the team, which is nicknamed The Grecians. (You know how Michael just loves buying those Grecian vases.) As a club director, Jackson is allowed to vote on player decisions and was entitled to free tea and sandwiches at all the stadiums in Division Three.

"I know nothing about your sport, but I believe you," Jackson told the crowd. "One other thing, England is going to win (at the World Cup)." Shouldn't this guy be rooting for the American team? And get this, a copy of the club's quarterly financial records is actually mailed to Jackson's home at Neverland.

Along with Jackson, Geller also named his friend, British actor David Prowse, who plays the evil Jedi Darth Vader in the Stars Wars films, as an honorary director of the club. "I can see the rival team looking at David and thinking, 'Oh, no!.They have Darth Vader on their side,' " Geller said.

Geller's next act of wizardry was to try to get world champion Brazil to come and play at Exeter to help the team get over its financial problems. (The club is threatened with eviction from its offices this by debt collectors).

You heard it right -- Brazil. And there's meaning behind Geller's madness. You see, back in 1914, Exeter was touring South America and actually played Brazil. It was an historic game, because it was Brazil's first ever international match as a team. Are you connecting all the dots here? Geller has even written a personal letter to Brazilian star Ronaldo who, in his time, has had a few spells hexed from his fragile knees.

However, the Israeli-born Geller has not always gotten his way. The club made an attempt to lure English World Cup star and D.C. United reject Paul Gascoigne to the team, to no avail. And it was Geller, who told Sports Illustrated before the 1998 World Cup that the Americans would reach the second round and beyond. The U.S. team went 0-3 and finished last.

So where do I come in? Well, I have a sentimental connection to Geller's club. I was born in Exeter, and my grandfather, who conveniently named his four sons, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, worked in the famous cathedral. In his sober days, my dad was an ardent fan of the Grecians.

Now, one would expect a club, backed by the "gloved one," the "dark side of the force" and a man who says he healed David Beckham's foot with mind power, would be storming up the standings this season.

Not so. Exeter languished at the bottom of the Third Division, fighting relegation from the Football League all season. Finally came the day of reckoning. Exeter needed to beat Southend in its last game of the season at home and hope that Swansea lost at home to Hull City, to avoid the drop into the nether-gloom of non-league soccer.

The Gods had other ideas. Exeter did win 1-0, but Swansea downed Hull 4-2. Alas, the star quality in Exeter's directors' box was not matched on the field enough this season. Geller was in tears at the final whistle. "This is one of the dark moments in my life," Geller told the Daily Mail, "And I can only compare it to the war that I went through. Unfortunately I had to kill a Jordanian soldier during the 1967 war in Israel. That was the lowest point of my life, and I feel the same way.

"It's shocking but I can compare it to that. It's an emotion, an emptiness, a void, a vacuum, a total let-down. My mind is running and thinking that this really didn't happen. I'm wishing that it was a nightmare and that I'd wake up but, of course, it's not. I've never regretted becoming involved with Exeter and I will follow them until I die. Nothing will change."

On Friday, Exeter released 11 players, including experienced strikers Sean McCarthy and Don Goodman, while manager Gary Peters, hired midseason, was evaluating his future. "I won't make any decision until I'm in the right frame of mind," he said.

The worst for Exeter could still be waiting. Geller, the associate director, has removed himself, at least for the time being, from the administration of the club, distancing himself from chairman John Russell and vice chairman Mike Lewis who have drawn the venom of the local media and fans. "I totally disassociate myself from John Russell and Mike Lewis," he said. "I love the club dearly and would never abandon the club or the fans."

Geller also hinted that the demotion was only a temporary setback. "Where there's a will, there's a way and there is a huge will amongst the supporters of the football club," he said.

Geller should think himself lucky. Back in the 17th century, the people of Exeter had a notorious habit of burning witches. Lord knows what my grandfather is thinking in his grave.

John Haydon is the Washington Times soccer columnist and can be e-mailed at jhaydon@washingtontimes.com.