Mad Brit Diary

It's time for Beckham to come clean.

(Friday, April 9, 2004) - Please, say it ain't so Dave. I know you're not the Messiah, the Pope or even Gandhi. You never pretended to be a monk, but you always showed us you were a good family man, loyal to your wife and a good father to your kids.

You were not only David Beckham, the bender of balls, but also David Beckham the one we trusted. The reason why so many around the world -- especially in the Far East, such as Japan and Thailand -- love and admire you, is because you showed us you were a good husband, not like so many of those sports figures who sleep around and breed kids in every city their team passes through.

Dave, we're worried because the tabloids are saying you cheated on Posh Spice -- the very beautiful Victoria Adams. Dave, if you did give in to your weaker side -- and we're not talking about your left foot -- with your former assistant, Rebecca Loos, who now is selling her story to the British press, we forgive you, but you must come clean.

You can't have it both ways. You sold yourself to the world and made millions. In some ways, the world owns you a little. That's the way it goes Dave. You got rich off us all and now you owe us something -- the truth.

You say these allegations are "ludicrous." Let's hope so Dave, but there is a nasty smell rising and the lads in the Real Madrid lockerroom are talking. You're not just a soccer star, but an icon. You said in a statement: "The simple truth is that I am very happily married, have a wonderful wife and two very special kids. There is nothing that any third party can do to change these facts."

We hope so Dave and, if it is true, you have to sue for libel that nasty rag The News Of The World that broke this story. But don't lie to us Dave because it all comes out in the wash and the laundry is about to be hung on the line for all to see.

Manchester United booked another FA Cup final last week. This time, the Red Devils will play First Division Millwall on May 22. United manager Alex Ferguson, who once described Millwall's feisty player-coach Dennis Wise as "being able to start a fight in an empty room", has not ended a season without a trophy since 1989.

Millwall, which reached the final after beating fellow First Division outfit Sunderland, is the first team to reach advance to the big game without having played a top-flight team. Wise is hoping to become the first player to win three FA Cup trophies with three different teams. The 37-year-old midfielder has been to the FA Cup final five times, winning once with Wimbledon's Crazy Gang in 1988, twice with Chelsea and losing 4-0 with Chelsea against Manchester United.

Who said the Italians play low-scoring, defensive soccer? In nine games Sunday, 32 goals were scored. That's 3.2 goals per game.

Arsenal Brazilian star midfielder Edu has been hinting he would like to play for England if Brazil fails to call him up.

The talented left-footer is desperate to crack Brazil's national team and, at 25 years-old, is still waiting. To play for a country other than that of one's birth, a player needs to live for two or more years in that country.

Edu's option to play for England -- if the national team boss ever called -- comes at a time when world governing body FIFA has changed the rules on national eligibility. "I know it would be possible for me to play for England -- and I am thinking about that," Edu said. "Like every player. I would like to be involved at international football. And if Brazil don't pick me, then why not? I have found my true home and happiness. England is a nation that I love and enjoy. I might not be able to become a lord, but that's how I feel every time I walk onto the pitch and hear the fans. I feel like the lord of Arsenal."

Kasey Keller is blaming Tottenham Hotspur's troubles on too many managerial changes in the past 10 years. "We must get it right behind the scenes to get it right on the pitch," the American goalkeeper said. "I'm just glad that we've been able to string results together and get ourselves out of trouble."

Maybe the troubles begin with Keller's choice of music. After all, this is a guy who warms up for a game listening to Marilyn Manson. "I enjoy watching Marilyn Manson as much as listening to him -- you can see what he's thinking in his videos," Keller said. "He did tremendous versions of the Eurythmics' 'Sweet Dreams' and Soft Cell's 'Tainted Love.' ''

Keller tells The Guardian newspaper that he also listens to Slipknot in the Spurs' lockerroom and get's strange looks. "But what's scaring me is the amount of Michael Jackson that's been played lately," Keller said. "It's also scared the hell out of our young mascots because they think he's there in person."

On his way home in the car, the veteran listens to Offspring, Incubus, Machine Head and Misfits. "Should I decide not to smash my head against a wall, musically speaking, I'll turn to Classic FM," he said. "Mozart is way better than any of the pop garbage that's churned out."

D.C. United teen sensation Freddy Adu's debut in Major League Soccer boosted ratings up 64 percent from last year's MLS opening telecast on ABC. The 2004 MLS season-opener between D.C. United and San Jose drew a 1.8 overnight rating, up from last year's 1.1 for the league's opener.

V32cc writes: "Sounds like that shyster Rothenberg stiffed your bogus British behind, my friend. That's awful! I feel for you, bro. As a true blue football fan, I hate folks that profit unscrupulously from the sport. You should sue him."

Jay Clark says: "I have to agree with your last reader. The USA kit would be great if we were the only country wearing it, but we aren't. Why can't we request that Nike make a jersey exclusive to the U.S.? How about a little national pride, Nike?"

Abe Stauffer of Pennsylvania writes: "(Concerning last week's column on freak injuries), I can't believe you left out the famous (or infamous) car accident where the great English keeper Gordon Banks lost an eye! He did make a comeback here in the U.S. playing goal for a North American Soccer League team in the late '60s, early '70s.

Bruce McGuire writes: "Dear sir, please don't confuse the poser Mohawk with the real deal. David Beckham took some hair gel and mushed his hair into a pointy line down the middle of his head. Clint Mathis cut all the hair away except for the strip down the middle, then took a razor and shaved away the stubble. Becks = fashion poser = phony. Clint = insane red neck = real deal."

Tom Ponsford writes: Hey, Mad Brit, Interesting article by the Los Angeles Time's Graham Jones about the slow, but steady growth of MLS. While the ownership of MLS by the 'billionaire boy's club' may irk some people, it has allowed the sport to have a somewhat secure future. Who else could afford to lose $100 million in 10 years, which was way more than Leeds could ever hope to lose?"

Heard a rumor, have a gripe or a tip? Feeling lonely? E-mail the Mad Brit at themadbrit3@aol.com.