Mad Brit Diary

Chelsea embarrasses itself in Champions League semifinals.

(Friday, April 23, 2004) -- What a total embarrassment and disgusting performance by Chelsea at Monaco this past week in the Champions League semifinals. If that game was a fish, I would have thrown it back, it stunk so bad.

Every Mad Brit should bow his head in shame at the pathetic display by the London club in its 3-1 loss against the French league team in the series' first leg. Monaco continues to play some brilliant soccer and stick it to the rich big boys. Earlier this month, Monaco produced a stunning comeback in the quarterfinals beating mighty Real Madrid 3-1 to tie the series 5-5 and advance on the away-goals rule. One might wonder if Chelsea had watched the video of the Real game.

Chelsea's Claude Makelele should be on Broadway or the West End for his ridiculous theatrics after being slightly tapped on the head by Greek midfielder Akis Zikos. Makelele had slapped Zikos on the cheek and Zikos responded with a slight tap, which earned him a cruel red card. Makelele fell to the ground as he had been hit by a Iraqi RPG. It was shameless acting and nearly as good as Rivaldo's bad acting at the World Cup against Turkey, where the Brazilian's exaggerated reactions to a tackle got Hakan Unsal red-carded.

UEFA should fine Makelele for his soap-opera display. Where is the noble play of Gary Lineker -- who never earned a yellow card in all his brilliant career -- when you need an example to fair play to show off? Players who try to get other players sent off like that should be run out of town, it's just so unsporting.

Monaco was a man down with the score tied at 1-1, but the home team played all-out attacking soccer and scored two goals to totally embarrass the millionaires of Chelsea. Chelsea coach Claudio Ranieri made some bizarre substitutions, replacing Danish star Jesper Gronkjaer at halftime with Argentine midfielder Juan Sebastien Veron, the most overrated player in the game. Veron looked lost at sea on the field. What a mess. What a disgrace.

Chelsea now will have to try and score two goals at Stamford Bridge in the second leg and not concede a goal. Chelsea can do it, but does it deserve it? "We will have to produce our best performance of the season in the second leg," Ranieri promised.

You bet.

What has come over Gary Nevill?. The Manchester United defender has score two goes for United in two games in a week, compared previously to four goals in 427 appearances.

If Chelsea fails to defeat Newcastle United, Arsenal can claim the English Premier League title this weekend with a victory in the 134th North London derby at Tottenham Hotspur where American goalkeeper Kasey Keller mans the nets. It would be the Gunners' second title in three years, their third EPL crown and 13th English league championship.

Top Italian star Christian Vieri refused to sit on the bench this weekend, so he was sent to the stands to watch Inter Milan's 4-2 decision over Bologna.

Talk about a rivalry. In the Rio de Janeiro crosstown derby between Brazilian teams Flamengo and Vasco da Gama, six players were sent off in the Caroca championship game last week. Vasco finished the game with only seven players, the minimum permitted.

According to reports, trouble was brewing long before the game after the Vasco president ordered 30,000 liters of beer for his club's fans and the club's coach told his players at a practice sessions to kick their opponents.

Humberto Coelho, the coach of South Korea's national team, stepped down from the job. The Portuguese coach replaced Dutchman Guus Hiddink who guided the Koreans to the 2002 World Cup semifinals.

"For a foreign coach who cannot speak Korean, managing the national team is not an easy task," Coelho told the media.

Last year, South Korea suffered losses to Vietnam and Oman, but the real problem for Coelho came when the team tied with the Maldives in World Cup qualifying last month. Officials said they would look to appoint another foreign coach by the end of May. Names being mentioned are former Turkey coach Senol Gunes and Senegal coach Bruno Metsu. Meantime, the Koreans will play Turkey in back-to-back games at home in June.

Mad Irishman Roy Keane has been called up for Ireland's friendly with Poland next week. The former Irish captain quit the international game just before the 2002 World Cup after a bust-up with former manager Mick McCarthy, who sent the 32-year-old midfielder home.

Ireland's World Cup 2006 qualifying campaign begins on the September 4 against Cyprus.

Oh how American pro soccer misses the wonderful words of that nutty Mad Brit Ray Hudson. This is Hudson talking to the media in Florida this week where youth phenom Freddy Adu played for the American under-20 men against a Haiti select team:

"He is an awakening for soccer. He is the first one to come out with a different manner in the way he plays. The vast majority of players look as though they've come off a conveyor belt. They've been fashioned in a certain way, cobbled, dictated to by their college coach or whatever. Freddy is the first one where even the kids are going 'Wow!' "

And how about this one: "There is something special there, for sure, but he is far from a finished. This is not the Rembrandt of soccer here. He is an exquisitely gifted little footballer, but he's still a little chicken coming out of the egg. It's just that he's the first player in America to reach this height of attention, so the expectations are tremendous."

Or how about this: "He isn't your cookie-cutter, Bobby Convey-, Benny Olsen-type of player who's just athletic, very good, but without that extra dimension to them. This kid has that X factor in him. He's the first one in this country that people have said, 'Whoa.' "

Joe Eule writes: You write of George Best binge drinking after receiving a liver transplant, 'There's a jerk if there ever was one.' True. But when it comes to being a jerk, Best is a piker compared to (Diego) Maradona who, despite his undeniable skills as a footballer, is about as unlikable a man as ever laced up a pair of boots. Anyone that pals around with Castro is ipso facto a jerk, but add to that all of his other problems and his 'poor me' routine and he is far and away the biggest jerk maybe ever to play. And to see these fans still worship him is a disgrace."

J. Alan Miller writes" "As for your thoughts on Edu, I agree wholeheartedly. However, (England's national team) did not seem to be begging him to play. I believe he is a left-sided player and they could certainly use that in their set-up. Further, the only thing they ever said is that he was not naturalized and thus not eligible to play for England.

"More or less, he would have to make a commitment to England before they would even discuss it. Nonetheless, the German's reaction to Ailton was far better: 'You are not German, we don't want you, go away.' That is good stuff! But, by all means, this is better. Edu gets one call up to the Brazilian national team, never gets called back and can't play for anyone else. After that, you will see the real whining begin!"

John Smith writes: "Hey, I agree with you about Edu. I don't think he is all that great. He is better than some of the midfielders in the English squad though. Do you really think England could have beaten Brazil in the last World Cup? You must be dreaming. The only goal England scored was a gift from Lucio while they spent half the time trying to catch the technically superior Brazilians.

"I do admit that Edu would not necessarily make the England team any better. I am not even sure why (coach Carlos Alberto) Parreira is even worried about this guy. But, then again, I don't think Parreira is the right coach for this group of Brazilians either. I think right now he is pretty much over his head."

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