Mad Brit Diary

It's over! There's no catching Arsenal.

(Friday, February 27, 2004) -- Let's face it, it's over, and the Fat Lady hasn't even laced up her girdle.

The mighty Arsenal machine keeps on rolling and the quick-firing Gunners now look set to claim to another English Premier League title. It's enough to turn the Mad Brit off his cold fish and chips.

Arsenal is undefeated in 26 league games and playing some scintillating soccer. How can you argue with that talent? But where oh where are Newcastle United, Liverpool and Leeds United? If Arsenal keeps this up, it will claim its third EPL championship.

Professor Arsene Wenger, the brilliant mind behind the Gunners' success and the kind of man Napoleon could have used, has molded together a Gaelic\Dutch\Brazilian delicious mixture of talent with a tiny pinch of English salt. You would have thought that glamorous Chelsea, on the snobby Kings Road with its $250 million worth of fresh talent, could have stopped Wenger's boys last week at Stamford Bridge, but no. Dennis (The Ice Man) Bergkamp toyed with the Chelsea's defense like putty in a child's hands.

To make matters worse, eight-time EPL champ Manchester United couldn't even beat lowly debt-ridden Leeds at Old Trafford's Cathedral of Dreams. Alan (Mohawk) Smith scored a delightful goal heading past American Tim Howard to give Leeds a vital road point. And what a header it was from the bad-boy Smith.

The turmoil swirling around Manchester United coach Alex Ferguson over a racehorse and transfer deals may be taking its toll. Is this the beginning of the decline of mighty United and the greatest coach in English league play? All empires must fall to allow others to rise.

(Has the Mad Brit gone nutty in his rhetoric? Stop him now or be sorry before this column deteriorates into mushy pea soup.)

Arsenal now has a seven-point lead over the Red Devils with 12 games left in the season. The Gunners are unbeaten (19-0-7) in 26 league games since the start of the season and closing in on the record of 29 held by Leeds (1973-74) and Liverpool (1987-88).

Ferguson has told Cristiano Ronaldo "to keep it simple" and cut back on his tricks. That's right Sir Alex, go ahead and stifle the 18-year-old who brings vitality and excitement into the game.

Defender Mark Williams, who spent a last season with Major League Soccer's Columbus Crew, is now glad to be back home with Wimbledon. "Put it this way," the 33-year-old told the Sunday Mirror, "there are no decent chip shops and you want to try finding a bottle of HP sauce or a Kit Kat in the middle of America?"

Williams played only five games with the Crew.

Brazilian star Roberto Carlos likes playing alongside David Beckham and this a reason why he will not leave Real Madrid this summer. "Money is no longer the most important thing to me. I know about Chelsea's offer, but nothing will move me from here," said Carlos. "I am enjoying playing alongside David Beckham, even though he hasn't been here for long. He's brought a lot to the team and he's good for me."

Coach Bruce Arena and his United States men will be watching closely as Grenada and Guyana begin their two-game 2006 World Cup qualifying series today in St. George's, Grenada. The teams play the second game on March 14 in Guyana with the winner set to travel to the U.S. and face the Americans on June 13 at a yet to be named site. The U.S. road game of that series will be on the weekend of June 19-20.

American Brian McBride is feeling a lot better at his English club, Fulham. His wife Dina and two daughters finally arrived in London this week and you could see the difference. McBride scored a brilliant go-ahead goal on an assist from U.S. defender Carlos Bocanegra as Fulham downed West Ham United 3-0 on Tuesday in the FA Cup fifth-round replay. The reward: a quarterfinal Cup game at Manchester United.

"Having my wife Dina and two daughters with me at last in London really helps," McBride said.

And talking about United, Malcolm Glazer, owner of the National Football League's Tampa Bay Buccaneers, increased his stake in the Manchester club from 16.31 percent to 16.69 this week. United is valued at $1.38 billion.

It was a strange week for some Americans overseas. Goalkeeper Brad Friedel came out of his 18-yard box to score a late goal for Blackburn Rovers to tie the game with Charlton Athletic 2-2 only for the Addicks to steal his glory by notching a winner seconds later.

At Manchester City, Claudio Reyna was missing when the Blues came out at the second half in their 3-1 win at Bolton and began with 10 players on the field. Finally the American sheepishly appeared to help City take its first victory in 15 games.

And at Tottenham Hotspur, Kasey Keller gave up four goals, but his club still earned a point in an amazing 4-4 goalfest with Leicester City.

Friedel's dramatic equalizer at The Valley puts him in an exclusive band of goal-scoring keepers who have scored goals, such as Peter Schmeichel of Manchester United (who became the first goalie to score in the EPL), Jimmy Glass (Carlisle), (Sunderland) and Paul Robinson (Leeds).

Meantime, former Howard University keeper Shake Hislop won the "Man of the Match" honors as he saved a Michael Owen penalty kick to help Portsmouth beat Liverpool 1-0 in the FA Cup fifth round. Hislop's brilliant display came on his 35th birthday.

Former Columbus Crew star Stern John scored a last-minute goal to give Birmingham City a 2-2 tie with crosstown rival Aston Villa on Sunday.

In Scotland, Celtic recorded its 24 consecutive victory -- a new Scottish record -- with it win over Partick Thistle. The Scottish leaders are now 13 points ahead of Rangers in the race for the title. The previous winning record was held by Greenock Morton 40 years ago.

What is happening to the "Mighty Khan?" Bayern Munich and German goalkeeper Oliver Kahn suffered a terrible blunder this week when he let Roberto Carlos' long free kick slip under his belly as Bayern tied Real Madrid in the Champions League Tuesday after leading for over 80 minutes.

"I should be able to stop a ball like that, period. It was one you could stop without arms and legs," Kahn told he told German news agency SID.

Kahn was recently criticized by Arsenal's German keeper Jens Lehmann who thinks he and not Kahn should be starting for the national team.

Dennis Bergkamp is now the longest serving foreign player in the English Premier League, beating out former Manchester United goalie Peter Schneider's record. Bergkamp, known as the "Ice Man," came to Arsenal from Inter Milan in 1995. He has made 341 appearances, scoring 107 goals.

Chelsea has not beat the Gunners now in nine years.

James Hayter scored the fastest hat trick in English Football League history when he came off the bench with six minutes left on the clock to hit three goals in two minutes and 20 seconds in Bournemouth's 6-0 win over Wrexham in the Second Division. It beat the previous record by 10 seconds. Sadly, his parents had to leave the game early to catch the ferry to the Isle of Wight and missed their son's best moment.

Tom Ponsford writes: "Hey Mad Brit! I saw this in the New York Times! 'Two-Game U.S. Tour Is Planned.' Real Madrid, the top Spanish club, will be paid about $4 million to play two games in the United States this summer, a trip that will be promoted by Soccer United Marketing, an arm of MLS, said someone involved in promoting international team tours in the United States. Real -- the team of Ronaldo, Luis Figo, Zinedine Zidane and David Beckham -- is in first place in the Spanish league. The club will probably play the Mexican national team, which is also promoted by SUM, in Los Angeles and the MLS All-Star team on July 24, probably on the East Coast.

Although he did not address the details in an e-mail message, MLS commissioner Don Garber wrote that "it's way too early to say with Real."

So, OK. How can you predict Freddy Adu to be an MLS All-Star when he hasn't played a game yet? Hah!.Just being the highest paid MLS player makes him a "star," But just think of it: Freddy Adu, David Beckham, Figo and Zidane on the field together. Where's my ticket?!"

Sanje writes: "Dear Mad Brit, you can discount those rumors about Titi Henry or even Patrick Viera sauntering over to Real Madrid. Thanks to the perceived racism at play in the Claude Makelele situation last year, don't expect too many top players of color to join Madrid. Titi and Viera are already on record as saying they will never play for Madrid. And the Spaniards may have that overrated Argy Valdano to blame."

Heard a rumor, have a gripe or a tip? Feeling lonely? E-mail the Mad Brit at themadbrit3@aol.com.