Mad Brit Diary

Those lovely Swedes need Larsson to return.

(Friday, March 5, 2004) -- Ah, those wonderful Swedes, sometimes known in soccer circles as the "Brazilians of Europe" for their delightful football, are pleading for their wonder boy to come home and do his duty for King and country.

Yes, forget all those heavy psychological Igmar Bergman films. The unemotional, but lovely, Swedes are up in arms these days over soccer star Henrik Larsson, who changes his hairstyle nearly as often as David Beckham. Larsson, who helped Sweden reach the semifinals of the 1994 World Cup in the United States, says he will not come out of international retirement to play for Sweden at Euro 2004 in Portugal.

Larsson, 32, has been a goal-scoring machine at Glasgow Celtic in recent years. This season, he leads the Scottish League with 21 goals for Celtic. In Sweden, over 125,000 signatures have been collected to get Henrik to don Sweden's glorious yellow jersey once again. Europe's soccer boss, Lennant Johansson, himself a jovial Swede, has begged the player to change his mind, even offering him a private plane to ferry Larsson's family to Portugal for the finals.

King Carl XVI Gustaf, who had a mean left foot when he played alongside the Mad Brit at Sigtuna Boarding School, when he wasn't skiing, would love to see Henrik be a good boy and live up to the King's motto: "For Sweden -- With the times."

But Larsson, like England's Alan Shearer, is digging his heels in, with his "been there, done that, got the T-shirt" philosophy. In fact, the real reason why these guys won't be at Euro 2004 is because the Mad Brit has offered them both a free fishing trip to Alaska. I'm sure they will both accept -- no really!

And speaking of Sweden, whatever happened to Tomas Brolin, famous for that sneaky free-kick goal against Romania at the 1994 World Cup. Didn't I see him coming out of Blockbuster recently with a "Fanny and Alexander" DVD?

Seriously, old tubby Brolin, who once cost Leeds United a bundle of cash, got himself into some problems. I kid you not, but he ended his career after spells with Nasvikens IK, GIF Sundsvall, IFK Norrkoping, Parma, Leeds United, FC Zurich, Parma, Crystal Palace, and Hudiksyallas ABK, playing as a goalkeeper in the in the Swedish third division. Then he became an entrepreneur, opening a nightclub in Stockholm called "Undici" and invested in vacuum cleaner parts and shoes. Then the debt collectors came after him and he crashed his car into an elk. Fortunately, he has a beauty queen wife who continues to bail him out of his messes.

American World Cup defender Eddie Pope fainted just before the U.S. men's game against the Netherlands recently and has been in his native North Carolina since. A MetroStars official said Pope just needed a rest. Yeah, don't we all. Stay tuned.

Fresh from qualifying in Costa Rica for the Summer Olympics in Athens, and thoroughly destroying their opponents this week, the U.S. women's team next heads off to Portugal for fun and games at the annual Algarve Cup that runs March 14-20.

The U.S. will face France (March 14), Denmark (March 16) and Sweden (March 18) in Group A. Group B features Norway, Finland, Canada and China, while Group C, has Portugal, Wales, Greece and Northern Ireland.

Scottish defender Austin McCann, 24, could be headed to play with the MetroStars.

According to the Akron Beacon Journal, it could cost the Cleveland area $120 million to build a soccer stadium on 100 acres in Summit County.

Cleveland-area developer Bert Wolstein, wants to run a 2005 expansion team in Major League Soccer. Wolstein, who previously ran the indoor Cleveland Force, is willing to pony up the first $20 million. Come on Bert, what's $20 million?

He's already spent more than $223 million on players, but Russian oil billionaire Roman Abramovich is willing to spend more and more for his London club Chelsea, currently second in the English Premier League.

This week, the Blues signed Dutch striker Arjen Robben for $22.12 million from PSV Eindhoven of the Dutch Eredivisie. The speedy 20-year-old winger, who scored the lone goal in the Netherlands' 1-0 win over the U.S. last month, will join Chelsea at the end of the season.

Chelsea beat out Manchester United for the Dutchman. United saw him as a possible long-term replacement for Ryan Giggs.

Walter Smith has been appointed as Manchester United's assistant manager until the end of the season. The former Everton coach fills the vacancy left when former MetroStars coach Carlos Queiroz left the club last summer to take over Real Madrid.

Meantime, Brazilian striker Ronaldo agreed to a two-year extension to his contract with Madrid. A portion of his salary will be donated toward the Mad Brit's medical bills.

American World Cup star Tony Sanneh has been added to the U.S. roster for the March 13 game against Haiti at the Orange Bowl in Miami, Fla.

Sanneh, who plays for FC Nurnberg in the German Bundesliga, has been sidelined with a back injury since December 2002, and has not played for the American team since the 2002 World Cup.

"I've been in training for the last month and I'm hoping to get some good work in Miami and allow [U.S. coach] Bruce Arena to gauge my progress," Sanneh said. "I'm looking forward to assessing my speed against higher level players in a more competitive environment."

Sanneh, who has played 37 times for the U.S., played 71 games for D.C. United in MLS from 1996-1998, scoring 14 goals. At the World Cup, he was one of three U.S. players to play every minute of the team's games. We love you Tony and it's great to have you back.

The Mad Brit's plea to Boro in a recent column seems to have paid off. Finally, after 128 years. English Premier League club Middlesbrough won its first trophy when it downed Bolton Wanderers 2-1 Sunday to claim the Carling Cup, the league cup. With the victory, Middlesbrough earned an automatic spot in the UEFA Cup.

The Teessiders went in front 2-0 early on goals from Joseph-Desire Job and Boudewijn Zenden. The Trotters got a goal back from Kevin Davies, but are still left looking for their first trophy in 46 years.

Clint Brooks reminds us: "Kasey Keller scored in the first division for Millwall. American Jurgen Sommer was the victimized goalkeeper on a bizarre punt, bounce and goal."

V2CC writes: "Indeed, (John) Barnes went on to win many caps for England. But I think, at that point, things had changed and continued to change for black players.

"On another point, I was never an England fan till (Sven) Eriksson took over. However, for most of the 1980s, I always thought that England could have been a real powerhouse if it had a foreign coach. It had great players like (Trevor) Brookings, (Ray) Wilkens, (Glenn) Hoddle (my favorite!), etc. I never warmed up to Bryan Robson because I thought he was way overrated. He was a more injury-prone (Roy) Keane, to me. Keano? Good player, but a psycho.

"P.S. -- I remember one headline in the British press in the late 1980s when four "negroes" were in contention for starting places for England: "Is England going black?" That was during the Luther Blisset years, if I'm not mistaken."

Jarrod Beglinger says: "Arsenal is a Gaelic\Dutch\Brazilian mixture of talent? I'm no expert, but just off the top of my head, I think of (Thierry) Henry, (Christien) Viera, (Robert) Pires, and (Sylvain) Wiltord of Arsenal's most influential players, all French.

"Brazilian, OK. But Gaelic, who? Dutch, who? I just thought this was a very curious description of Arsenal."

(Sorry, Jarrod it was meant to read Gallic, not Gaelic. And (Dennis) Bergkamp is Arsenal's Dutch element. -- MB]

William Johnston says; "You said, 'Professor Arsene Wenger, the brilliant mind behind the Gunners' success and the kind of man Napoleon could have used, has molded together a Gaelic\Dutch\Brazilian delicious mixture of talent with a tiny pinch of English salt.' This is indeed true, but there is no Gaelic (Irish, and to a lesser extent Scottish people) talent in the Arsenal lineup. There is some 'Gallic' (French) talent such as Messers Pires, Henry, Vieira, (Gael) Clichy and -- although I'm reluctant to use the term talent for him -- (Pascal) Cygan. But, as for Gaelic, there is none other than youngsters, such as Graham Stack, in the reserves."

Heard a rumor, have a gripe or a tip? Feeling lonely? E-mail the Mad Brit at themadbrit3@aol.com.