Mad Brit Diary

Manchester United's title hopes are all wet.

(Friday, March 12, 2004) -- You'd think they get enough rain in Manchester. These days it never stops pouring.

The rain seems to have doused the fire and brimstone of the city's mighty Red Devils. Manchester United, the richest club on the planet is now faced with injuries to key players, the suspension of the world's most expensive defender and a season going down the toilet. In short, United, a club with a massive ego and reputation, is in deep trouble.

Where's David Beckham when you need him?

Could this be the season that coach Alex Ferguson goes home with no silverware to put on his mantelpiece next to that nice framed photo of the "Rock of Gibraltar," the controversial racehorse he invested in? The way things are going these days, Sir Alex may need a racehorse to ride out of town.

Things aren't looking good for the big boys of the game. Fans in Thailand are already burning incenses to the Gods. Maybe. United's tour of America this summer can't come too soon.

This is the first time in eight years United have failed to reach the quarterfinals of the Champions League, a failure that could cost the club up to $25 million in gate receipts, prize money and TV revenue. It was tragic to see United crash out of Europe this week, but somehow you saw it coming. Against Porto of Portugal, the Red Devils never took control of the game like the great teams of old at Old Trafford. American goalkeeper Tim Howard did his best to stop the last-minute free kick, but his defenders let him down as Franciso Costinha banged home the rebound.

United was very unlucky to have Paul Scholes' goal ruled offside, leading only 1-0 rather than by two heading into halftime. The ref's assistant must have been sipping gin and tonics when that play took place. To make matter worse, United defender Mikael Silvestre (ankle) hobbled off in training a day before the game, while Eric Djemba-Djemba (rib) and Cristiano Ronaldo (thigh and knee) were injured in the Porto match. But the absence of defender Rio Ferdinand, who is banned for eight months for skipping a drug test, is a key factor in United's decline this season.

Rio really blew it for his club and country and, by the end of the season, fingers will be pointed at him. Already, in pubs all over Manchester, fans are spitting his name out into their Bass Ale.

"It is disappointing and frustrating to say the least," Ferdinand said. "I'd be lying if I said I was enjoying my time. I'd much rather be out there playing."

Well, you should have thought about that sooner, Rio. Obviously, this pampered player from birth was never a Boy Scout where being prepared is the motto. A drug test is a drug test, but Rio thought he could slip that one by because he's. . . well. . . Rio, the best defender in the world. It's so typical of the "I'm a rich soccer player, driving a BMW, in-your-face party-boy, modeling-fancy-clothes, arrogant know-it-all, the rules-don't-matter-to-me, my agent-will-take-care-of-that" attitude of so many soccer players. Those three Leicester City players currently stewing a Spanish jail know what I'm talking about.

At least David Beckham grew up and matured. The Red Devils have earned only one clean sheet in the 10 games since Ferdinand began his ban. They are nine points behind Arsenal in the English Premier League championship race and must meet the Gunners in the semifinal of the FA Cup on April 3.

"People will say I'm having a holiday, but I'm not. I am working to stay fit." Ferdinand said. "I won't have a problem with ballooning up. I'm a slim lad, so I don't put weight on. "

You're going to get real fat, Rio. Don't kid us. Nothing can replace real game action. United faces Manchester City this weekend and must win in order to have any chance to catch Arsenal.

"It's going to be difficult to pick ourselves up from this," said the ever-blunt defender Gary Neville. "We're not talking about three or four days, it's going to be more like three or four years."

All we can look forward to is Ferguson's men taking on rival Arsenal -- which is nine points ahead of them in the league-- in the FA Cup semifinal. If they lose that, the Mad Brit will move to Leeds.