Mad Brit Diary

It's time for clubs in Europe to lock up for the summer.

(Friday, May 14, 2004) -- The closing days of the European season are upon us. Soon the big leagues will close up shop for the long summer as many star players prepare to join their national teams for European Championship in Portugal from June 12-July 4.

(The Mad Brit predicts disaster looms for England at Euro 2004. France will run away with the glory, killing off the Netherlands in the final.)

In Spain, mighty Real Madrid will close its season with no silverware for the first time in five years. The star-studded club gave up its fourth loss in five games last week, losing to humble Mallorca 3-2 at home. Many questions hover around David Beckham. His season with the Spanish giant began on a high note and a goal, but fizzled amidst rumors of infidelity off the field, and mixed form on the pitch.

Now there are rumors that Chelsea wants him, but it would cost the team's sugar-daddy, Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich, about $70 million. Chelsea is also said to be looking to sign Barcelona's Brazilian star Ronaldinho, probably the best attacking midfielder in the world. To get the ever-smiling Brazilian, the Blues would have to fork out around $116 million.

Rumors are still swirling at the London club that Claudio Ranieri will be replaced by Porto coach Jose Mourinho, which would be really sad as Ranieri appears to be one lovely and jovial guy, with a personality that would lighten up any dreary English day.

Well, back to Spain. Valencia clinched the Spanish title for the second time in three years and its sixth title in its 89-year history.

In Italy, AC Milan was crowned champion after beating Roma 1-0 on a goal from Ukrainian star Andriy Shevchenko who has scored 23 times this season. Shevchenko never gets the press he deserves. If he were Brazilian or looked like Beckham, he would be on the front page of every soccer magazine every week.

In Germany, Werder Bremen (whose colors -- green and yellow -- are horrible) won the title for the first time since 1993. Since its last championship, only three other teams have won the Bundesliga. Bayern Munich won it six times (1994, 1997, 1999-2001, 2003), Borussia Dortmund three times (1995-96, 2002) and Kaiserslautern once in 1998. In France, Lyon and Monaco and Paris St. Germain are still battling it out.

Ajax clinched its 29th title (boring) in the Netherlands, while in Portugal, Porto won and awaits the Champions League final against Monaco. In ever-predictable Scotland, Celtic won by a million points over its nearest rival. In fact, I think 70 points separate Celtic from the bottom team in the Scottish Premier League. It's time for Celtic and Rangers to join the English Premier League.

Meantime, Brazil's World Cup star, and brilliant stage actor, Rivaldo, is still pondering a move to Bolton Wanderers. Rivaldo is having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that there are no beaches in Bolton, just factories and a large supermarket. And he can't find the town on his map.

England coach Sven Goran Ericksson will name his 23-man roster for Euro 2004 on Monday. The Mad Brit is chalked in for the right-wing position, if he can fit into his shorts.

It has not been the best of season for many of America's overseas players. Claudio (Sick Note) Reyna, who played so well at the 2002 World Cup, had an forgettable year with Manchester City which barely escaped relegation from the English Premier League. With one game left in the season, City remains fourth from bottom in the EPL. Brad (I No Longer Sound Like a Yank) Friedel ended the season out with a thigh injury, but put in a good showing with a lousy Blackburn Rovers team.

Kasey (I Love Slipnot and Marilyn Manson) Keller started the whole season for Tottenham Hotspur, which is currently a point worse than Blackburn. Brian (Scarface) McBride started only four games this season with Fulham and has two goals. Not bad, but he could have done better.

Tim (There's a big feature on me in Sports Illustrated) Howard, started 31 games and we hope to see him for Manchester United in the FA Cup final against Millwall on May 22. Of all the Yanks in nutty England, Carlos (The Butcher) Bocanegra looked very good. This kid was born for English soccer and has a great future ahead of him as long as he stays away from the beer and greasy chips.

The 5-5 tie between the San Jose Earthquakes and the MetroStars in Major last week tied for the second highest combined goal total in Major League Soccer history. The goal-fest equaled the mark set by the Columbus Crew and Kansas City Wizards when the Wizards won 6-4 on May 2,1996, and in a 6-4 MetroStars victory against the Dallas Burn on August 26, 2000.

The Colorado Rapids and Los Angeles Galaxy hold the MLS record of 11 combined goals in L.A.'s 7-4 victory at the Rose Bowl on May 6, 1998. Meanwhile, L.A. will honor former Galaxy and El Salvador star Mauricio Cienfuegos with a farewell match involving former Galaxy players and a team of Cienfuegos choosing June 5 before the Galaxy's home game that day.

Fans in Washington D.C. are asking when will Marco Etcheverry get a farewell game.

According to the Wall Street Journal this week, the English Premier League is the most widely watched league in the world, seen on television in 180 countries worldwide. . . Thailand prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra said this week that he has made a bid to buy 30 percent of Liverpool soccer club for about $100 million.

Alan Shearer has one more year on his contract at Newcastle United. The prolific striker is looking and sounding more like the man who will replace Newcastle coach Bobby Robson. . . Eddie Gray has been let go from the coaching job at relegated Leeds United. . . Bradford and Wimbledon, two former Premier League clubs have dropped down from Division One into Division Two. Very sad.

Brant Lloyd writes: "A May 12th article on Soccernet revealed that the U.S. climbed to eighth on the FIFA Official World Rankings list while England dropped to 12th. Certainly there must be some sort of actuarial science supporting these rankings, but something's not quite right! It seems to me that England ought to occupy a loftier position than the U.S. given the experience and exposure of the English player in the European leagues.

"Looking at the assembled national teams on paper forces my practical self to reluctantly admit that England is a better side. Of course, I am pleased that America is ranked higher than your homeland, as most Americans would probably confess, given our obsession with rankings of all sorts. However, I'm wondering what the average mad Brit thinks about FIFA's results. . . Are they as eager to see the U.S. and England face off as we are?

Valery Villena writes: "How is it that (Paul) Robinson goes to Tottenham for the same amount that Aston Villa paid for (Nolberto) Solano? Solano is way up there in the stats along with (David) Beckham, etc, in assists and goals during his years in England. . . The fact is many players not in Solano's class got much more money in the transfer. Just like many other transfer fees paid for other players much less talented, much less skilled than Solano. Look at the difference Solano made playing for Aston Villa. Villa almost made it to the Champions League with him. This, after being way out of it before his arrival. Now look at Newcastle. With Solano, Newcastle had been in the Champions League. Now, Newcastle is out. (Newcastle manager Bobby) Robson was wrong after all. Solano is that important of a player in any team."

Thomas Kolodziej writes: "Okay, the latest FIFA rankings have the U.S. eighth, which may seem high to some. Here's the problem: Mexico, which the U.S. handily defeated in the World Cup, beat as recently as last month, and has also shut out in their last six meetings, is two spots higher in sixth! How much more dominant does one club need to be over another before they swap spots? I'm not saying the U.S. is the sixth best team in the world, but I am saying Mexico is NOT better than the U.S., and recent (and, probably, not so recent) results bear this out.

Tom Ponsford says: Hey Mad Brit, Holy Fish and Chips! The U.S. rated ahead of England in the latest FIFA rankings!! I've been wondering WHY we have yet to see a U.S.-England matchup! Is England scared of the U.S.? Does England want to relive the ignominity of its defeat at the hands of the Yanks almost a decade ago? It seems to me that a U.S.-England would be a natural crowd-pleaser, a home-and-home series (like Poland) would be well received on both sides of the pond.

"I think its been lost on a lot of people, that although the future of U.S. soccer marketing might lie with a Freddy Adu, the strength of U.S. soccer will lie with the Jonathan Spectors and Frankie Simeks. Spector was awarded the Youth\Reserve "Most Valuable Player" Manchester United and was actually promoted to the bench at the Man. U.\Blackburn game and Simek actually played on Arsenal's first team earlier in the year in a Carling Cup match against Wolverhampton. (Both) will probably appear in EPL games before they are 21. Which is equal to, or better than, appearing in an MLS game when you're 14. Good show, lads!

Ramon Creager writes: "Sure, Tim Howard racked up some great stats with Man. U., particularly while Rio Ferdinand was playing. But did he get then nod for the top keeper of the year in the EPL because of this? There is so much more to being a good keeper than clean sheets and goal-against average. The porous defenses of some of the lower-tier teams make some excellent keepers look bad, but these busy men probably saved their sides from relegation. My nominees in this area are Shaka Hislop, Brad Friedel and David James. Keep in mind that if David Seaman had not made way for James, (Manchester) City would almost certainly have been relegated.

"Incidentally, I can think of three very good Spanish keepers right off the top of my head: Iker Casillas, Santiago Canizares and Victor Valdez. Villareal's young keeper Jose Reina also looks very good. Given that, unlike the Yanks, they would not count as foreigners. It is interesting to me that there are no Spanish keepers starting in the EPL."

Columbus Crew fan Steve Fultz: "Mad Brit, I was in London three years ago and was overwhelmed with the passion that soccer receives. I hope some day we will develop the same here.

Dave Sowden, vice chairman of the Singapore Leeds United Supporters Club corrects me: "It's a sad day in Yorkshire, that lovely county in the northwest of England." Indeed it was a sad day, but we really don't need our anguish exacerbated by being moved over to the wrong side of the Pennines! What you meant to say was surely "It's a sad day in Yorkshire, that lovely county in the northeast of England! I did, however, appreciate the sentiment behind your piece particularly the, 'Let's hope the lads will be back soon.' "

Doug Devine writes: "Manasseh Ngigi says us Yanks will most likely lose to European clubs because we lack creativity. While I'll agree our finishing would not win too many awards, we gel as a team far better than most European squads and step up when the time calls for it. We're 2-2-1 versus European opponents with a plus-1 goal differential since the beginning of 2003. (That's) a far cry from most of the time. And did he not watch the last World Cup? Ask Portugal how they like playing us on the big stage. Plus I've seen quotes from German players admitting we outplayed them.

"What I do give Europeans immense credit for is their ability to one-touch pass and control tough passes. It's a thing of beauty. Once we learn how to do that on the international level, the Cup will never leave American soil except for those obligatory times when it has to be displayed at the next World Cup, giving false hope to every other country."

Heard a rumor, have a gripe or a tip? Feeling lonely? E-mail the Mad Brit at themadbrit3@aol.com.